


How to Stop Your Kageyama from Biting You: An In-Depth Guide for Those Tricky Situations On and Off the Bed

by Valgus



Series: KageHina for Dummies (⊙◡⊙)ﾉ [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Guides, Love Bites, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-27 21:14:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6300661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valgus/pseuds/Valgus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your boyfriend Kageyama likes to bite you and leave marks! What are you going to do about this? Read the handy guide made by Hinata Shouyou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Stop Your Kageyama from Biting You: An In-Depth Guide for Those Tricky Situations On and Off the Bed

**Author's Note:**

> Special shout out to **nya the guest and[murakamism (VintageHandle)](http://archiveofourown.org/users/VintageHandle/pseuds/murakamism)** who really want to read this.

**How to Stop Your Kageyama from Biting You:**

**An In-Depth Guide for Those Tricky Situations On and Off the Bed**

**(This is More of How to Deal with It, Though, But Whatever)**

by Hinata Shouyou

* * *

 

Hello again! This is your middle blocker who has the dream of becoming the next Small Giant, Hinata Shouyou. Besides dreaming about becoming incredible volleyball player, my other dream is to be Kageyama’s groom.

Some of you have requested to tell me about how Kageyama is a biter and how to deal with it! Well, well, well, it looks like Kageyama and I are not the only kinky person around! (To be honest though, we’re all secretly super kinky, even the bored-looking Tsukishima. Who knows? Perhaps at night someone gets him all messy and naughty.)

Before we go further into the tips, here are some of rejected titles for the article. I feel sorry to put them away completely, so I put them here for your pleasure.

• “How to Stop Your Kageyama Giving You Extreme Love Kisses”  
• “How to Stop Your Kageyama from Sinking His Teeth into You” (This one makes him sounds like a vampire. Though I don’t mind vampire Kageyama—he’ll going to have super volleyball power—this title can be quite misleading)  
• “How to Stop Your Kageyama from Ravishing You with His Mouth (Especially Teeth)”  
• “Why the Hell is Your Kageyama So Turned On by Your Skin that He Feels the Need to Use Teeth?”  
• “How to Tell Your Beloved King of the Bed Kageyama that He Shouldn’t Bite You So Much (You Don’t Mind, but Dealing with the Aftermath is Quite Messy)”

Now, on to the guide!

 **First of all,** feed him before being all lovey-dovey.

If possible, feed him something chewy, preferably doused in curry sauce. This will satisfy his teeth and therefore will reduce the chance of him biting you.

Feeding your Kageyama will reward you with a sight of him eating. Your Kageyama looks equally adorable, funny, and also kind of hot at the same time when he’s eating. It’s adorable because he eats so seriously (you never thought you’d see someone so serious in gulping down rice!), it’s funny because his bite is really huge, as if he were afraid someone going to snatch the food away from him if he didn’t finish it soon, and hot because… well, he’s just hot, even when eating. His lips and tongue are in action when he’s eating, and you got to imagine all amazing things those lips and tongue are going to do to you later.

Please remember to let the food sink in properly on the stomach before starting making out, though! Since your Kageyama is an athlete and you are too, your make out session will no doubt be intense, like vigorous exercise, especially when penetration is involved.

Do you remember that one time the bed creaking so loud because it almost broke? Yeah. Remember that. You have to get down on the floor and your back got hurt and then Kageyama’s back got hurt because he saw your wincing face and let you ride him and you don’t want to get involved in that kind of mess, really.

Cleaning the dirty floor will be a pain too, so try not to go to that direction. Bed is invented for reasons, anyway.

 **Second,** watch his mouth. Carefully.

When things are heated—I’m trying very hard not to get hard (oh, the pun!) as I write this, but I can foresee myself fail very soon—there will be lot of kisses. When it’s mouth-to-mouth kiss (sometimes more like tongue-and-teeth-to-tongue-and-teeth kiss on some desperate time), you have to feel it more than watching it.

But when Kageyama starts to move his mouth around like he is not satisfied—and, boy, it takes a _lot_ of thing to satisfy the Royal Highness of your boyfriend—or when he sticks his tongue out, bite his lower lip, or brushes his own lip with his tongue, you know that he is going to bite you.

Actually, even though the title says on how to stop your Kageyama from biting you, it’s more of how to stop him from biting you too much and in the wrong place! When your Kageyama shows symptoms of getting his teeth out for you, direct him carefully to the place where he can leave mark.

Places like chest and shoulders are okay, because they are usually covered in clothes. But this means that you can’t get topless in front of other people, or when you want to be quick and change your clothes on gym instead of on locker room. Mind you, Kageyama’s teeth are big and strong—much like how he is as a person—and the mark he left, although not hurt, can be very prominent. There is no way others won’t recognise it as a bite mark. Unlike dirty love kisses that leave marks, however, you can’t disguise it as bug bites or anything.

Unless the bug that bites you has set of perfect human-like teeth, try to direct your Kageyama’s mouth to safer place. Below the waist is usually safe, up until where the volleyball shorts won’t cover them.

Try to be careful with bites around your butts, though! Your Kageyama might be enjoying it and you might be enjoying it too as it is made, but then sitting will be hard, and it’s like that one time after your first night with Kageyama all over again. You know, when you wobbled around like newborn deer because of your boyfriend’s massive gun. (It felt more like a canon than a gun, but then your body adapts.) Avoid excessive biting on the butts for this reason.

Tips: for equally weird kinky alternative, try some butt slapping! Your Kageyama has wonderful palms—big, warm, calloused from contact with volleyball, and usually slightly damp when you two do it—and it’ll usually arouses both of you more because your body remembers all the tosses and spikes you made as odd duo, because you two are just volleyball dorks.

The downside of this alternative is that you can get aroused when hearing or seeing Kageyama tosses, remembering how those beautiful palms had been on your butts last night…

Perhaps, just don’t do it before very important match, unless you believe in your focus or can rely fully on Kageyama’s angry glare as he growled angrily under his breath because everyone is around, “Do _not_ get aroused from this, Dumbass!” to keep you in check with the match.

 **Third,** when the middle of hot, sexy activity with your Kageyama, try not to pout.

I’m serious.

At this point, I must stress to you _not_ to. I repeat: _do. Not. Pout._ For some reasons I haven’t yet to understand, he seems to think that your pouting face is cute! He will kiss you even harder when you pout and then, as they say, after the lips, the teeth follow.

And, boy, let me tell you, as much as it feels painfully lovely—like extreme exercise, and when you think about it, sex _is_ extreme exercise, only that there is climax to look forward to, instead of just getting sweaty and stronger—you want to stay in control so that he doesn’t leave marks in visible places, such as neck, arms, stomach and back (sometimes those parts get exposed when you jump to spike), legs, and even feet.

One time, I wore this white shorts and he kept looking at me like a hungry lion, if hungry lion wore black T-shirt and had dark blue eyes. He said that my legs look beautiful. I was half-embarrassed but half-touched too. In the end, as we better fast forward the story, because it’ll make a whole article alone (probably will be titled “How to NOT Do Three Rounds on Sunday Afternoon with Your Kageyama”), when I changed from my normal shoes and socks to my volleyball shoes and socks, the whole Karasuno team somehow realized that I got bite marks all over my feet.

Not only I was seriously hard from the memory of when the marks were made, but also everyone kept making biting and feet fetish jokes for three weeks straight after that. In the end, I blushed too much and had to ban Kageyama from placing his mouth—it’s more of his teeth, really, I don’t mind him kissing my feet and he had done this a couple of times—near my precious feet.

 **Fourth,** brief him before you two do the deeds!

Remember all the important things like what day is it, should you two wake up early next morning, whether there is important match coming up soon, and whether there is family member around. After you run down all the important points and point out why or where Kageyama should or should not bite, you can go full naughty and just let yourself melt to your Kageyama.

(Best. Feeling. Ever.)

 **Fifth,** just remember that he bites you because he loves you.

Yes, your Kageyama is just a big, tall boy who happens to be in love with your heart and body! Like he diligently put names on all of his volleyball stuffs, he want to put his “names” on you too, because you’re his boyfriend and his love can be stretched out to a little bit of possessiveness.

(It’s okay, you like it. You know you like it. It makes me you feel loved like never before.)

Enjoy the bites! Enjoy all the love bites from your Kageyama! Embrace it! Taming big king kitty has its own perks!

 **Sixth,** and this is more of the afterwards sort of stuff, check all the bite marks your Kageyama gave you after you clean yourself. He’s usually can handle as much as not to be too deep with the teeth—but being deep with the hips is another business—but when he got jealous, he can leave you serious mark.

Scold him properly when such thing happens and care for the wound properly! He will not do this often, because he is an athlete himself and know that small injury can create big snowball effect to one’s performance.

 **Seventh,** try to bite him in return.

He will be extremely shy and he’ll yelp like it really hurts, but Little Kageyama on his crotch can’t lie.

He likes it. _Tremendously_.

But since you’re not really the kind of person who likes to bite, only do this on those rare occurrences when you want to get him up and ready quickly. Or when you want to treat him because Karasuno just won an important match or when he passed important tests.

I think that is all so far. Remember that the biting might not always happen in bed. When it happens on public place, drag him right away to more hidden place, or tell him to wait until you actually get to bed. Then, he is free to bite you with all of his will.

This might be quite in-depth on how to stop your Kageyama from biting you all over, but try to discover more by yourself!

One of the tricks that seem to be working is to talk to him about other guys.

And by other guys I mean great volleyball player like Bokuto-san or Ushijima-san. He will then feel like he is in court instead of in bed and will forget to bite you. The downside of this trick is that he will want to toss something. If he found nothing to toss, he’ll try to toss you. So maybe don’t do this, unless you’re in a mood to be volleyball.

I hope that helps you dealing with your biter of a boyfriend. If none of those works, just cry a little (because love can hurt sometime, it's normal!) and tell him that it hurts! That’ll stop him for sure, because he'll listen to you since he loves you very, very much.

Until next time!

Hugs and kisses,

Hinata Shouyou

**Author's Note:**

> This is so embarrassing I want to hide. And this is the longest installation of _KageHina for Dummies_ so far too... (2k words!) 
> 
> Don't even look at me. |д･) I think writing this has killed me.
> 
> I send you all thank you for reading this from heaven (yaoi heaven, LMAO).


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